Modesty in Attire
Wedding Day Attire
The principle governing the attire guidelines can be summed up by a single virtue: Modesty.
Please Note: The wedding party and guests are expected to be modest, reverent, and respectful at both the rehearsal and Nuptial Mass.
Women
For the bride, bridesmaids, and other women in attendance, modesty in design and appearance is expected. This means the dresses of the bride and the bridesmaids must abide by the following standards:
The color white is recommended for the dress, but not required. It must be obvious that you are dressed. No skin tone colored fabric to give the impression of nudity or partial nudity.
Fabric used for the construction of the dress must be opaque – nothing transparent. Areas of the bodice covered with lace or other sheer-type fabric must have lining that is the same color as the color of the dress inserted under it.
The neckline may be open, but it must not plunge and no cleavage should be exposed.
The back must be covered. A drop to the shoulder blades is permitted.
Dress length must be below the knees (minimum).
Sleeves must cover both shoulders and go down the arm three – four inches or more. Ideally, the sleeves should cover the arm to the elbow.
Dresses should fit comfortably, suitable to each’s body type. Dresses must not be skintight.
In brief, a woman should dress in such a way that everyone knows she is a woman, but always dress as a lady, mindful of the occasion and environment. If we look at royalty, the women are always elegantly dressed, and rarely scandalous, particularly for formal occasions.
If the bride’s dress and/or the dresses for the women in the wedding party do not follow the above guidelines, a covering – shawl, opaque wrap, dress topper, or other covering must be worn while inside the Church.
Bridal veils are encouraged – blusher, chapel, and cathedral lengths are most common – but these are not considered coverings for immodest dresses.
Men
The groom, groomsmen, and other men in attendance must wear a black, brown, dark blue suit and tie. Male guests can wear long sleeve button down shirts and dress pants. Shoes or boots must be close-toed and clean, or polished. No spurs. They should refrain from wearing short sleeve and sleeveless shirts while inside the church. Some cultural attire, such as the Filipino Barong Tagalog formal shirt, may be worn. Please confirm with the wedding coordinator before purchase.
Both Women and Men
Hair must be clean.
Men should be shaven or, as the case my be, mustaches and/or beards neatly trimmed.
No one should walk up the aisle with his/her hands in his/her pocket.
Men may not wear hats inside the church.
Men and women must dress according to their biological sex: women must dress as women and men as men.
Tattoos must be covered.
Please refer to the graphic on the next page for quick reference.
Why is it important to dress modestly, especially when we are inside a Catholic Church?
When we attend Mass, we are at the Passion, Death, and Resurrection of Our Lord Jesus Christ, who is God and Creator of the universe. It is the greatest form of Christian worship.
We are supernaturally present at the same Sacrifice at Calvary over two thousand years ago.
The church houses our Lord, truly present in the Blessed Sacrament within the tabernacle.
Dressing modestly communicates our respect for God, our understanding of who He is, what happens at each Mass, and the dignity with which He made each of us.
If one would respect the dress code to be followed in the presence of an earthly sovereign or another royal, how much more dignified should we dress in the presence of the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, Christus Rex — Christ the King?
Church Teaching on Modesty
The virtue of modesty is much deeper than a list of rules to follow. It is about seeing ourselves the way God does.
Your Dignity
Dignity refers to the special worth or value that something or someone has, given to you by God.
When we say something has dignity, we mean it deserves respect and honor. The Church reaffirms the dignity of the human person in CCC 1700.
What is modesty?
In short, the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) says the following:
Purity of heart enables us to see things according to God. (CCC 2531)
[Purity of heart] lets us perceive the human body - ours and our neighbor's - as a temple of the Holy Spirit, a manifestation of divine beauty. (CCC 2519)
Purity of heart requires the modesty which is patience, decency, and discretion. Modesty protects the intimate center of the person. (CCC 2533)
Some popes have given specific guidelines on how to dress modestly, but their guidelines are discipline and not doctrine.
The virtue of modesty is not limited to dress, but also encompasses speech and behavior.
What does the Bible say?
Galatians 2:20 — I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Romans 12:1-2 — I appeal to you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 — Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
What else does the Catechism say?
Listen to Father Mike Schmitz's commentary - Day 324
Listen to Father Mike Schmitz's commentary - Day 325
Ninth Commandent: You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant, or his maidservant, or his ox, or his ass, or anything that is your neighbor's. Every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
2529 The ninth commandment warns against lust or carnal concupiscence.
2515 ...Christian theology has given [concupiscence] a particular meaning: the movement of the sensitive appetite contrary to the operation of the human reason. The apostle St. Paul identifies it with the rebellion of the "flesh" against the "spirit."
2516 Because man is a composite being, spirit and body, there already exists a certain tension in him; a certain struggle of tendencies between "spirit" and "flesh" develops.
But in fact this struggle belongs to the heritage of sin. It is a consequence of sin and at the same time a confirmation of it. It is part of the daily experience of the spiritual battle:
For the Apostle it is not a matter of despising and condemning the body which with the spiritual soul constitutes man's nature and personal subjectivity.
Rather, he is concerned with the morally good or bad works, or better, the permanent dispositions - virtues and vices - which are the fruit of submission (in the first case) or of resistance (in the second case) to the saving action of the Holy Spirit.
For this reason the Apostle writes: "If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit."
2517 The heart is the seat of moral personality... "Out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, fornication. . . . "
The struggle against carnal covetousness entails purifying the heart and practicing temperance.
1809 Temperance is the moral virtue that moderates the attraction of pleasures and provides balance in the use of created goods.
It ensures the will's mastery over instincts and keeps desires within the limits of what is honorable.
The temperate person directs the sensitive appetites toward what is good and maintains a healthy discretion: "Do not follow your inclination and strength, walking according to the desires of your heart."
2518 The sixth beatitude proclaims, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."
"Pure in heart" refers to those who have attuned their intellects and wills to the demands of God's holiness, chiefly in three areas: charity; chastity or sexual rectitude; love of truth and orthodoxy of faith.
There is a connection between purity of heart, of body, and of faith.
2519 The "pure in heart" are promised that they will see God face to face and be like him.
Purity of heart is the precondition of the vision of God.
Even now it {purity of heart] enables us to see according to God, to accept others as "neighbors"; it lets us perceive the human body - ours and our neighbor's - as a temple of the Holy Spirit, a manifestation of divine beauty.
2521 Purity requires modesty, an integral part of temperance.
Modesty protects the intimate center of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden.
It is ordered to chastity to whose sensitivity it bears witness.
It guides how one looks at others and behaves toward them in conformity with the dignity of persons and their solidarity.
2524 The forms taken by modesty vary from one culture to another. Everywhere, however, modesty exists as an intuition of the spiritual dignity proper to man.
It is born with the awakening consciousness of being a subject.
Teaching modesty to children and adolescents means awakening in them respect for the human person.